In the last couple of days our team has been addressed with some very real concerns, and also some very encouraging praises. I would like to share some of them, I will not put who they are from but you can see my response to all of them. This may be a more personal way to show the insider's part of this team:
From a Pastor:Sarah,
I've been reading with great interest your blog and emails, including those your mom sends us. I am happy to hear that there has been some degree of resolution with the team, but am sad that it seems everyone is going their own way from here on. I felt like I needed to express my concerns about your situation, and you can take it or leave it.
1. This may sound a little trivial in light of all that's going on, but your present living arrangement (you and Vegas sharing an apartment) seems a tad questionable to me. A team of people living in an apartment is one thing, but two single young people of the opposite sex living in an apartment in a foriegn land just opens the door to speculation on the part of those looking in, and, yes, even temptation on your part. You and Vegas do no honor to the name of Christ by co-habiting in this way. And you put yourselves in a situation that could easily cause you to compromise your relationship with Christ. There...I said it.
2. I'm concerned about who is representing 30 Churches you are connecting with. Is there some stateside contact that can verify who this person is and what their role is in the situation? Forgive my cynicism, but there are thousands of very clever cons being reported around the relief effort. At this point it seems wise to remain skeptical and proceed slowly. Send me any names and contact information you have on the church there and I'll do the research from here. I just need to know more about these folks to be very excited about your partnership with them. I know the guy here in Sparks well enough to get him on this for me if I have some names and contact information.
3. Who are you and Vegas accountable to there now that the team is disbanded? You seem to be pretty much on your own, and that doesn't do much for your credibility (or safety, frankly) in a volitile area and circumstance. You have no experience in relief work or cross-cultural mission (that I know of) and you are in a very different culture from your own. You are Christian and American and young and female, living and traveling with a young male who is the same. All of these things are hurdles to overcome in your present circumstance and some of them put you in grave danger. Who is looking out for YOU? Who is guiding and supervising you and your work there?
Look...we love you and are praying for you. We also (many of those who have spoken with me anyway) think you're a bit over the edge at the moment. Personally I think you guys should come home and get reinforcements, and look for an agency here that can send you and train you and supervise you. There is a reason World Vision responded to you the way they did...and I think you should listen carefully to them.These are my personal concerns, mainly. Many others, as I mentioned, share my concerns. NOBODY wants to say ANY of this to you because we love your heart and passion and don't want to squish any of that out of you. Be we are worried for you, and I thought you should know.I'm copying this to your mom and dad because I love them and don't want to keep any secrets from them...especially when it comes to their daughter. They didn't know I was sending this to you and they didn't ask me to. Fact is, they might even be pissed at me for doing it. Unfortunately I am not good at pretending...or keeping my mouth shut when I have an opinion.
Please reply as you can. I would love to hear from you.
My Response:Your concerns are very appropriate and I appreciate your honesty- hardto take, as it is... I will address your concerns as best I can.
In regards to Vegas and I living together: We asked a religious official if it would be inappropriate to live together. He said the same as you, that a team of people in onehouse would be alright but that the two of us alone would not be okay.The apartment that we plan to get will be available to us on Sunday,January 30. A volunteer from Fresno- a 45yr old, married woman named Andrea- will move in with us on February 4 and a couple - IV alumnai from NY- will move in on March 1. As far as the four days until Sundayand the four days until Andrea arrives, Vegas and I are considering getting seperate hotel rooms (they are $6 a night) or staying with the family. The family will not reject us or kick us out, it has only been my desire to move out as soon as possible because I feel that we are a burden to them, financially and otherwise. The apartment has three bedrooms and two bathrooms- from the moment that we step in the door, boys and girls can have different bathrooms and bedrooms. This will give us the appropriate distance and privacy.
In regards to our church contact: --I had about a paragraph here but was asked to take it off for privacy sake. I do not want to get any of the existing christian organizations in Sri Lanka in trouble--
In regards to who is looking out for us: You are right that we do not have the training that we need, or the resources, or the skills to offer (that was actually one of my dad's points), or the accountability in the States or in Sri Lanka. As far as accountability goes, we are trying to fix that. We were just given the email addresses of IV Staff, here in Sri Lanka, and would love to connectwith them for support and general prayer. In the meantime, our church contact has agreed to meet with us once a week and discuss our progress, problems, and cultural know-hows. We also met some Sri Lankan students who have spent the last year in America, and they call us all the time to make sure we're ok and answer any questions. The guy that we bought our cell phone from calls us daily to check up, and a man from Canada keeps us updated on the news and religious tension. So it's spread out- but people are looking out for us. As far as the states goes, I have to talk to my parents as much as possible and that's the only support that I get. For personal accountability I have been emailing my partner in America: she keeps me honest and prays for me in the areas of temptation and comfort and all that. I do the same for her, so that relationship has not been lost. Vegas does the same with his accountability partner.
As far as being in too deep, or over the edge, or not having any clue what we're doing- you're right. But I would have given up already if I didn't feel that this is exactly where God wants me. I'm scared spitless and consider coming home every day- but it's an easy out. I won't do it. The doors here keep opening, even if it's just a crack at a time. It takes a lot of patience and prayer- a lot more than I have, but God makes up for the rest. He intercedes for me when I cannot pray and strokes my head in the night when I cannot cry. I have felt his hand on my head every night since I've gotten here, I wake up and look around, but there's nothing there but his peace, so I go back to sleep. I am glad that I'm here, over my head, with nothing to offer-because that means that what people receive is not any of me, and all of God.Please continue to write your concerns to me, and communicating with my parents. I know that they are concerned as well and it is harder for them to tell me their concerns because what I need from them as support.
Pray for them and for us.
Sarah Turner
From a Volunteer:My name is ----------------- and I'm a part of a local church in San Diego,California. This past two weeks, our church has been fasting and prayingover the Lord's direction-we have felt a calling to go to Southeast Asiaand help out with the Tsunami Releif. After two weeks of calling differentorganizations, we were unable to find any Christian organizations thatwent to Sri Lanka. So, thinking it is our only option and best option, weare currently planning to go to Sri Lanka in Mid-end March with an secular group called Global Crossroads.We have been frankly trying to contact churches, mission organizations,etc for Sri Lanka local missionaries and churches so that our physicalrelief work might also be partnered with ministry work for His Kingdom.
Today, by the Sovereignty of God (because I'm not sure why I got this update email), I received your updates.Would it be possible for us to get in contact with you, your team, and the local churches in Sri Lanka? Do you need our manual labor/help or shouldwe still stick with Global Crossroads? Would Visa be harder to obtain ifwe went into the country individually? At this time, we're trying to tie last minute plans together. So if you could get back to me ASAP, that would be wonderful.I am encouraged and excited by reading your blog updates. I know that the Lord will do wonderful things through you and your team! If anything-we'llbe simply broken by the Spirit in being there...stretched in numerousways.
Praise God! Hope to talk with you soon.
From a Friend:Someone I've never met sent me this email below about your relief efforts. I wondered if your group is plagued with lecturer types who don't work and serve. Or I wondered if your group is led by people who do not believe it is ever appropriate to speak in reciprocally friendly conversations, about Jesus. It seems by the emphatic nature of your 'need to be clear' that it is one or the other. Frankly I tend to find both extremes rather ridiculous. Not that any was asking, but apparently someone felt I should know about this 'good work' done by mimes apparently guilted into sensitive silence, or radicals reigned-in for inciting religious riot. Smile. I felt this statement below indicated something I'd not want to support, just FYI.
My Response:That was rather bold, thank you. I personally find myself to be the type ofperson who's attitude says "you don't really believe that it's GOOD NEWS if you aren't motivated to tell anyone and everyone about it..." and so in thatregard, I strongly agree with you, I wouldn't want to support me either.What you brought up is a very good point.
What were are facing is a cultural threat. In coming here, I had the plan to show the love of Jesus by my actions and speak the love of Christ to those who asked about it. Another team of Christians came here, however, proclaiming the same goal. Instead, they put on skits and handed out tracks.This created a tremondous backlash from the community, and the churches are now reluctant to accept "christian workers." That is why I added that comment- I had to. I don't feel good about it and may take it off, but we will not be supported by the local people if we claim otherwise.
I am sure that if I felt led to stand on a chair and proclaim to gospel ofJohn- I would...and would probably be arrested or killed for it. However, I don't believe (at this moment) that God is calling me to threaten theauthority of existing christians in Sri Lanka.
Thank you for your words,
Sarah Turner
His Response:Sarah, you rock. Great and helpful reply. You might put that on your web.Many including myself who have served overseas for multiple years have seenshort-term people be of service and be a major pain. Smile. In yoursensitive contexts with this religious people group and the conflictsalready on the ground their between various religious and ideologicalgroups, your testimony, willingness, tact are actually just the sort thatfolk 'who know' would want to promote. Thanks for your reply. And thanksfor not dissing my boldness where it was technically none of my business ina sense. Thanks for taking the time to reply and no need to take up yourvaluable time again. Major thanks and prayers for you and the missiontoday.
